Monday, November 5, 2018

This is 50

So this is 50 or 350 years in dog years as I was kind enough to point out to my Mom when she reached this new age. I always thought 50 was OLD.

I've always been embarrassed to share my age because well, honestly, I really don't know why.  I just was. 

I spent my twenties largely being stupid. Making poor choices and burning bridges. Believe me when I tell you that I am so thankful social media was not a thing.

I spent my thirties fighting myself, trying to smooth bridges and found my hockey nerd and settled down and had Mighty and Mini. 

I spent my forties in varying degrees of chaos.  It's the decade that I started to  narrow  down what I want to be  when I grow up. Because I'm not there yet. This last year has brought me growth and peace. 

Peace to be me and to thumb my nose at those who chose not to see my worth.  Rather than obsessing with the WHYS.
I have faced cancer, miscarriages and surgeries.  I have faced insecurity and anxiety.  I have earned my big ole forehead wrinkle and my crows feet.  

I can choose not to age quietly and protest my double chin, my occasional mustache and my puffy synthroid face. 

I will wear glitter, play with snapchat and have funky taste in hair color and do all the things that I'm not "supposed to do" because I have reached a new decade.  

I am stepping out, being brave and confronting my fears and doing what I want to be doing. Even if I am the only person who thinks I can do it.   

So this is 50, and I think I'm really going to like it here. 

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